The Mediterranean section at Treasure Island’s The Buffet included hummus, lavash sandwiches, dolmas. Dolmas are not supposed to resemble a plate of steamed mussels. 

I don’t even know where to begin.

The cashier at Treasure Island’s The Buffet was actually named Bertha.

The Buffet at Treasure Island:

The last morning of Alex’s bachelor weekend in Las Vegas the whole gang went to Treasure Island’s Buffet . The last time I was in Vegas was when Miles Simon and Mike Bibby won the college basketball national championship. The Treasure Island at this time had the pirate show out front and I remember the buffet being bad. Since then they have dropped the pirate show, changed their name to TI, and the food has not improved. 

The decision to go to The Buffet was made because some members of our group had a discount coupon. I strongly objected in my head, but didn’t feel it was my place to vocalize those objections. I didn’t want to take on 15 plus people, especially if they were getting a discount. So I dove in head first like Nick Pappagiorgio at the craps table in Vegas Vacation. I punished that buffet until it punished me back. 

The pictures speak for themselves. They served worse than mall food court renditions of “ethnic” food from around the world. The “orange chicken” seemed to be everyone’s favorite. For some reason I went back five times for more food. I couldn’t stop. I think I felt compelled to get my thirty dollars worth. 

When it was all said and done I walked to the 15 passenger van in 110 degree heat feeling like I needed to have c section to save me from the mass of food in my stomach. The eight hour car ride back to Los Angeles allowed me plenty of time to listen to my stomach digest the meal. Most everyone in the group agreed the food was disgusting.

Buffets are a dicey game because there selling point is quantity. Quantity often means compromising quality. Vegas is a dicey game because it too sells quantity. In a town where quantity trumps quality every day I think you would be hard pressed to find a good buffet in Vegas unless you were shelling out serious bucks. I won’t be doing that unless someone else is picking up the tab. I also will now speak up before 15 people, including myself, are about to make a bad decision.

Since every meal is my last, my favorite thing to do is make a meal an event. This is why Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. All of the excitement, travel, and preparation is about sitting down to eat.  Since Tyler, Deering, and I first discussed the idea for this site, lunch at the United Nations had been in the back of my mind.

I first heard you could eat at the United Nations from Tyler. He had a friend that went to the coffee shop on occasion. I couldn’t think of a more exciting atmosphere to eat in than the UN, so I did some research and found out about the Delegates Dining Room This is the type of event meal that I love, so I made a reservation for the three of us.

The truth about lunch at the Delegates Dining Room is that it’s not about the food. The food is in fact secondary to the whole experience. With the reservation at 1pm I had to wake up at 10:30 in order to make it on time. Part of this process involved getting my shirt pressed at the dry cleaners down the street. I was running late to pick up my shirt, so I had to leave my house in a suit with nothing on underneath.  Tyler wanted me to mention that this aspect alone was worth the experience to him.

Deering worked some magic once we passed the metal detectors at the UN, as Tyler was able to gain security clearance using only his school ID.  Prior to this we had anticipated having to call the meal quits if Tyler didn’t get in. I can’t explain how big of a let down it would have been if Tyler didn’t get in and thankfully I don’t have to. We flew through the lobby of the building, shocked but elated on our way up to the fourth floor.

As you walk into the Delegates Dining Room you are greeted by the buffet table and an almost 180 degree view of the East River. I would be down to eat in this room for lunch every day. I made and ate two plates for lunch and two for dessert. I have included pictures of each. The salmon with the hollandaise sauce was a hit, and you can see that I had it on both plates. I also had the fried calamari with chipotle mayonnaise on both plates, but that is because I like anything chipotle, not because it was good. They served a steak but I can’t remember what cut it was. It came in a peppercorn sauce with little cubed potatoes. You can see a picture of the meat - with almost too perfect grill marks - on my second lunch plate. The meat was pretty bad but the little cubed potatoes were excellent. I rarely eat dessert but since it was a buffet, I sampled most of what they had to offer. It was fine but nothing worth writing about.

As I said earlier, this trip was not about the food. It is rare for a buffet to come through with quality over quantity, and my expectations were met in that area. The Delegates Dining Room did succeed in providing a once in a lifetime eating experience. The people watching was top notch and, if anything, was the reason to go back. Most of the meal was spent speculating on if a group of “Greeks” actually were Greek, and the roles each person played at their table. I would recommend this meal to anyone looking for an afternoon adventure in New York. Especially to local New Yorker’s who, for a few hours, can feel like a tourist in their own city. Even if, technically speaking, the UN is not in New York.