Cafe Figaro - Might Be The Worst Restaurant in Los Angeles:

Jump back a few weekends to when Ricky was in town and Carlos suggested getting lunch at Cafe Figaro in Los Feliz. Cafe Figaro appears to be a happening place because their outdoor seating is constantly full. The allure of the outdoor table is Figaro’s big trick and on that Sunday we got fooled. Not one person I ate with had anything good to say about the food. Carlos and Ricky didn’t even finish their salads.

Bloody Mary: The Bloody Mary was a can of tomato juice with a splash of Tabasco. Their was not one single spice added to this thing. It was embarassing. You get a better bloody mary on Southwest Airlines.

Merguez Sandwich: Boring. The sandwich came with one thin link of merguez sausage, a bit of harissa, and lettuce. I asked for no tomatoes but of course they couldn’t accommodate my request. The baugette was edging towards stale and the merguez was dry. I reluctantly finished this thing. The fries were good.

Salmon Carpaccio: This actually wasn’t bad. It was the only dish that edible start to finish.

Chicken Caesar Salad: Do you see any dressing on this salad? Caesar salads can be dicey because of too much dressing, but there is not point in eating one if their is not enough dressing. The croutons were big chunks of half baked bread. Carlos kept complaining about how bad they were.

Tuna Nicoise Salad: Notice the size of each chunk of tomato, tuna, potato, etc. They should all be half that size so they can fit in your mouth. The salad appeared to be made with no thought. Again you can’t see any dressing on the salad. Ricky got a 1/3 of the way through this thing before he put down his fork.

The vibe you get from Figaro is similar to a bistro opposite the Notre Dame in Paris. Every table is full so you assume it must be a good restaurant. Come to find out you and all the other tourist’s are idiots for eating at a restaurant in a tourist area. As long as the food resembles items in a French bistro they have done their job. They don’t care if it tastes good. What do you Americans know about French Food. That works in Paris but not in Los Angeles. We all left hungry and vowing never to return to Cafe Figaro.